When in a bad mood
Especially at this time of year
They may call you Scooge
Insisting on holiday cheer
To make matters worse
You drag out your internal bat
Making yourself wrong
For this and that
Accept all of you and all that you are
No more excuses and no more blame
Turn that bat into kindling
Stoke your internal flame
Hello one and all,
I hope that your cup is still running over and that you are having the happiest of holidays. If you aren’t feeling quite as chipper as you think you should, this week’s blog will be right up your alley. Call it divine guidance or instinct but I was inspired to write about one of this holiday’s infamous characters, Ebeneezer Scrooge and how he lives in all of us. You might say “Bah!” to that statement but the sooner you embrace your Ebeneezer like qualities, the more peaceful you will truly be.
Though this is my favorite time of year, last week a friend of mine called me Scrooge because I wasn’t being my usual happy and jovial self. When I got home that evening I thought of how many times that I beat myself up because I wasn’t the (happy, smart enough, thin enough, pretty enough) person that I thought someone expected me to be. But this time when I was “accused” of not being cheery enough I laughed it off. I was able to laugh it off and remain unaffected by what the person was saying because I am able to love the Scrooge part of me.
As a coach, by asking my clients powerful questions, I help them to uncover parts of themselves that they have been resisting. One of the first steps in this process is to create a list of people (that you know or don’t know) that you don’t like or you would never want to be compared to. The next part is to make a list of that person’s qualities. So when I was called Scrooge I asked myself “what qualities does Scrooge possess”? Selfish, stingy, cruel, clueless, and angry are the qualities that I thought of right off the bat. The next step in the process is to ask “has there ever been a time where I’ve been selfish, stingy, cruel, clueless and angry”? The answer is yes to all of the above. I’ve been them all at one point or another.
You might ask yourself (I know I have) what’s so great about being selfish, stingy, cruel, etc? It takes practice but I guarantee that you will find a gift in that quality that you have resisted. For example, I’ve been selfish and stingy when spending time with my daughter because I do not get the benefit of being with her every day anymore. I’ve been cruel plenty of times to myself. I have lost count of the times I’ve been clueless and of course I’ve been angry. Even if I wasn’t able to recall a certain time where I’ve been these qualities, I have learned that being human and put under certain circumstances will bring out qualities in us that we didn’t know we were capable of.
The other lesson that I learned is that until we are able to accept everything we view as “bad” or “wrong”, we will be stuck and unable to stand in our power, shine in our greatness and share ourselves completely (body, mind and spirit) with the world. Isn’t that the real reason we are all here?
So if you find yourself wanting to say “Bah Humbug!” this season just remember that in order for Ebeneezer to show everyone the truly happy and giving person he was, he had to meet his “faults and misgivings” face to face and make peace with them.
Here’s to a week of decking the halls and loving it all!
Warm blessings,
Mary Laughlin Cunningham
Life Coach/Author/Workshop Facilitator
http://www.life4ce.net/
Where the difference is YOU!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
One Cup At a Time
Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life – think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success, that is way great spiritual giants are produced. – Swami Vivekananda
Hello everyone,
I hope that your week and weekend was filled with peace and relaxation.
This morning I went out to do a little bit of shopping and put myself in the midst of the “holiday rush”. I met everyone I saw with a hello and smile. I was amazed at the people who were stunned by a stranger saying hello and actually smiling at them. While it warmed my heart to connect with strangers, I noticed that most of the people running around were on a mission and not taking the time to stop and enjoy the moment they were in. It was almost like I could see their wheels spinning doing what they needed to get done to get onto the next thing.
When I got home I thought of how often I find myself thinking about the future and what my dreams and goals are for the coming year. I thought about everything that I wanted to accomplish and ended up having to take some deep breaths to bring me back to the NOW moment. In that now moment, I began to make a list of not only what I accomplished during the year but also what I considered an incompletion. After celebrating my completions, I took a list at my incompletions and was reminded of a conversation I had with a friend of mine a few weeks ago.
We were on the phone talking about our goals for the future and how when we get excited about creating more opportunities that will move us forward in pursuing our dreams we tend to jump in with both feet and find that our energies get scattered across other areas of our lives. That one new thing that inspired us can end up being “just one more thing to do”. He used a beautiful analogy that went like this, “it is like I have all these glasses on the counter to fill and only have a cup of water to fill them all’. If you had 5, 6 or even 10 glasses on that counter, some would contain a few drops, some would have a little more and some would have none. Now, imagine that you could only drink from one of those glasses. Would your thirst be quenched? Would you feel nourished?
In life coaching, I ask my clients to fill out a “life wheel” where they rate certain areas of their lives including spirituality, relationships, career, finances, health, leisure time and home and surroundings. The areas are rated from 1-10 with 1 being the lowest vibration that they are living from to 10 being the highest. Just like the glass analogy used above, if a client chooses to work on more than one area at a time, they might end up feeling incomplete and undernourished from not paying enough attention and focus to just one area. Learning to focus their attention and energy on just one area will bring them to their goal that much sooner. One of their glasses on the counter is now full and overflowing into the next glass.
Your challenge and opportunity for the week is to see how many glasses you have on the counter and ask yourself “what do I need to do or let go of to allow this glass to runneth over”? If you need to put a few glasses in the cupboard, that’s ok. They will be there when you are ready to fill them up!
Here’s to a week of extra nourishment and hydration.
Blessings to all,
Mary Laughlin Cunningham
Life Coach/Author/Workshop Leader
http://www.life4ce.net/
Where the difference is YOU
Hello everyone,
I hope that your week and weekend was filled with peace and relaxation.
This morning I went out to do a little bit of shopping and put myself in the midst of the “holiday rush”. I met everyone I saw with a hello and smile. I was amazed at the people who were stunned by a stranger saying hello and actually smiling at them. While it warmed my heart to connect with strangers, I noticed that most of the people running around were on a mission and not taking the time to stop and enjoy the moment they were in. It was almost like I could see their wheels spinning doing what they needed to get done to get onto the next thing.
When I got home I thought of how often I find myself thinking about the future and what my dreams and goals are for the coming year. I thought about everything that I wanted to accomplish and ended up having to take some deep breaths to bring me back to the NOW moment. In that now moment, I began to make a list of not only what I accomplished during the year but also what I considered an incompletion. After celebrating my completions, I took a list at my incompletions and was reminded of a conversation I had with a friend of mine a few weeks ago.
We were on the phone talking about our goals for the future and how when we get excited about creating more opportunities that will move us forward in pursuing our dreams we tend to jump in with both feet and find that our energies get scattered across other areas of our lives. That one new thing that inspired us can end up being “just one more thing to do”. He used a beautiful analogy that went like this, “it is like I have all these glasses on the counter to fill and only have a cup of water to fill them all’. If you had 5, 6 or even 10 glasses on that counter, some would contain a few drops, some would have a little more and some would have none. Now, imagine that you could only drink from one of those glasses. Would your thirst be quenched? Would you feel nourished?
In life coaching, I ask my clients to fill out a “life wheel” where they rate certain areas of their lives including spirituality, relationships, career, finances, health, leisure time and home and surroundings. The areas are rated from 1-10 with 1 being the lowest vibration that they are living from to 10 being the highest. Just like the glass analogy used above, if a client chooses to work on more than one area at a time, they might end up feeling incomplete and undernourished from not paying enough attention and focus to just one area. Learning to focus their attention and energy on just one area will bring them to their goal that much sooner. One of their glasses on the counter is now full and overflowing into the next glass.
Your challenge and opportunity for the week is to see how many glasses you have on the counter and ask yourself “what do I need to do or let go of to allow this glass to runneth over”? If you need to put a few glasses in the cupboard, that’s ok. They will be there when you are ready to fill them up!
Here’s to a week of extra nourishment and hydration.
Blessings to all,
Mary Laughlin Cunningham
Life Coach/Author/Workshop Leader
http://www.life4ce.net/
Where the difference is YOU
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