Integrate the Rejected

We have fallen into Autumn. I cannot believe how fast this year has gone by. It seems that we just celebrated the holidays and here they are again around the corner.

If you recall, in my last blog I shared my insights about a movie called Eat Pray Love which created a shift in my life by opening up my heart and mind even more. It was this experience that was the beginning of my making peace with what I was resisting, my failures. I had stated that I would continue to dig underneath the mud and rubble to uncover the powerful being I know that resides inside of me. That is what I’ve been doing for the last six weeks and I would like to share it with you in my hopes that perhaps it will inspire you or in the very least help you to know that you are never alone and everyone is going through something at one time or another and when we come out on the other side, we end up stronger somehow.

I know that I have written about shadow work and how important it is to embrace every single aspect of ourselves in order to live fully and express our true selves. I am not sure who first introduced the shadow but I do know it goes as far back to Carl Jung who speaks of the archetypes of our personality, including the shadow archetype which he describes as:

“The Shadow is the personification of that part of human, psychic possibility that we deny in ourselves and project onto others. The goal of personality integration is to integrate the rejected, inferior side of our life into our total experience and to take responsibility for it.”

The part that really struck me in that sentence was the statement “integrate the rejected”. It made me wonder what parts of me I was still rejecting. Who was it that was doing the kicking and screaming and attracting more of what I didn’t want in my life? Well, wouldn’t you know it? I lined up the perfect scenario to go on a “treasure” hunt of sorts and dig and excavate around my soul.

It all started earlier this year when I found out that I would have to reapply for the job that I was currently doing and even better, I wasn’t selected for that position or any other in my organization. Luckily, I was given a transition position which will keep me employed through the end of this year. The puppy that my ex and I had made a part of our family right after we got engaged passed away, my mom was uprooted from her home and had to undergo surgery that none of us saw coming. There’s more, but you get the gist of it. Once again, as it happens to everyone at some point, my life turned on a dime and I had to choose to keep going.

I felt forced to really take a good look at how I was living my life. I asked myself if I was really living the life that I wanted and more importantly was I returning to the person I was put on this planet to be? I guess I wasn’t ready to explore this until just a week ago. I had hit a “breaking point” and was riding an emotional rollercoaster. Thankfully, I called in reinforcements, my troops so to speak and sat down and had some real conversations. What came out of a conversation with my good friend were a few shadow characteristics that I had been avoiding. I went inside of myself and found aspects such as worthless and pitiful but the one that really rattled my cage was my half-ass self.

In coaching, we encourage the client to go inside of themselves as a sort of meditation and connect with that aspect that has been rejected. To practice what I preach, I connected with my half-ass self to see what was going on. Because I had been rejecting that part for so long, it acted out by starting new things and never quite completing them or doing what was needed to make it “good enough”. My half-ass self didn’t feel worthy or deserving of anything else but “just ok”, if even that. The paradox of this is that even though I had rejected this part of me, it was my underlying belief that I was half assed and I had become quite skilled at attracting people and situations in my life to prove me right.

Now that I have shined some light on and reconnected with my half-ass self I could find the gifts that were waiting for me. The first thing that came to my mind was that if I wasn’t half-assed I wouldn’t have tried all the things I’ve done to find what I am truly passionate about. Sure, there are many things that I haven’t finished but so many things that I have. Another gift is the state of new-found peace and completeness with where I am right now, in this moment.

You see, when we are able to embrace our shadows it bring us that much closer to accepting and acknowledging the light that shines in all of us. It’s a delicate balance, like the Yin-Yang where there wouldn’t be one without the other. For how could I truly be powerful if I didn’t see that I can also be pitiful?

Thank you, as always for reading my blog. I hope that your days are as stress and worry free as you choose them to be.

Dancing in the dark and playing in the light,
Mary

www.life4ce.net
Where the answer is YOU!