Shadows and Addictions - BFF's

Hello all,


Each week, I usually start my blog with a short poem that I wrote. Due to the subject of my blog this week, I chose this quote instead:

“We move in our recovery from one addiction to another for two major reasons: first, we have not recognized and treated the underlying addictive process, and second, we have not accurately isolated and focused upon the specific addictions.” - Anne Wilson Schaef, Ph.D.

As most of you know, the coaching work that I’ve emerged myself in for over three years now focuses on the shadows that lie within each of us. I ran across this description of the shadow recently which states:

“Hidden or unconscious aspects of oneself, both good and bad, which the ego has either repressed or never realized. They are rejected aspects of ourselves and also underdeveloped potential. Jung said our shadow is 90% gold.”

The only thing I would change with the above quote would be the words “both good and bad.” I would replace those words with both light and dark. The reason is because we have both light and dark qualities of ourselves that we keep locked down and hidden. Because we aren’t able to be with these qualities, we will do whatever it is that we need to in order to remain unconscious of what lies within us. We seek solace in external comfort by using food, work, people, money, alcohol, drugs and whatever else it takes to get through another day. After awhile these “things” on the outside turn into addictions. Some may think that the longer we live on the outside of us, the deeper the addiction may be. What I do know, by my own experience, is that until we are able to uncover, accept and integrate those parts of us that we are hiding, it is quite possible that we will move from one addiction to another.

Addiction is not just about drugs and alcohol, even though that is what most people associate it with. That is what I used to think. To better understand addiction, the first thing I did was look up one of the definitions for it which describes it as being “the condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied or involved in something”. This may be presumption but I am fairly sure that we have all, at one point in our lives found ourselves compulsively occupied with something. I know that I’ve experienced addiction around diets, relationships and spending sprees to name just a few. When I become compulsively occupied in any of these situations, it is usually because there is something inside of me that I am either unaware of or am too afraid to deal with. I am not an expert on addictions but I do believe that no matter what your “poison” is, it can rob you of your passion, your soul and your life. Therefore, it is important to understand where our addictions come from first before we can start to get control of them.

Do I think that our addictions will go away if and when we are willing to look inside of ourselves and uncover something we have yet to see? Because we are humans I don’t think we can ever rid ourselves of whatever addictions we might be suffering from. However, if we are willing to do the internal work to unlock that which is in us that we don’t think we can handle or be with, that will be one small step to enlightenment and one huge step for living your life as the extraordinary being that you are!

I keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for being you.