Who's to blame?

Playing the blame game

There’s never a winner
No matter who it is that’s playing
A saint or a sinner

Hello everyone,

Hope your week was full of excitement and that you all reached a little bit outside of your comfort zones. Because I have spent a lot of time outside of my comfort zone lately, I decided to celebrate and return to one of my favorite places of comfort, the mall!

Walking through those doors at Macy’s, seeing all the fashion, smelling the perfume and looking at all the décor was like returning home for me. I wanted to shop till I dropped, but I was stopped in my tracks. The only item in my wallet that was plastic was my driver’s license. I wanted to celebrate and be happy that I was no longer living on credit but instead I felt frustrated and a bit depressed. I wanted to be able to shop, to get that fix that used to feed me. The frustration turned into a little bit of anger which quickly turned to blame.

Let’s see, who could I blame for not being able to shop? First, I could blame the credit card companies who charge outrageous interest rates making it next to impossible to EVER pay them off. Second, I could blame my parents for never teaching me the importance of saving money and lastly I could have blamed my ex-husband for not helping me out with my serious financial issue forcing me to close all my accounts and start paying off my debt all on my own. If I let myself stew in this self pity any longer, I am sure I could have come up with more people and events to blame for my inability to get things. At this point, the “old” me may have just decided to be pissed off and leave the mall casting blame and judgment on whomever I thought deserved it. Though it seems like I was immersed in this blame game for what seemed like hours, in reality it lasted only for a few minutes.

Because of the inner work that I’ve done, two things happened next. The first thing that I did was take a second to acknowledge the part of me who was selfish and pouted when she didn’t get what she wanted. I found the girl inside of me that wanted the golden goose and wanted it now! I took a minute to sit down on a bench in the mall, close my eyes and talk to her. I explained that while we may not always get what we want, we will always have what we need and that anytime she wants to throw a tantrum, I’ll be there to listen. After taking a deep breath, I stood up and continued to walk about the mall, taking in the people, the beautiful decorations and the lovely clothes, shoes, bags, all of it. It felt good to not need any of it and just enjoy the scenery.

The lesson that I learned at the mall was that sitting in judgment and blaming others keeps us stuck in the past and we end up giving our power away to something outside of ourselves. It becomes almost impossible to move forward and take action. It is something like saying “well he/she/they/it did this to me so there is nothing I can do about it.” With that frame of mind we become stagnant and our choices become very limited. The only way that we can stop looking back and start looking forward is to take full ownership of our part in whatever the situation might have been. When we do this, we are able to move through life with open arms, eyes, ears, heart and minds creating limitless opportunity.

Next time you find yourself wanting to blame someone or something take a step back, a deep breath and see what part you played in the game. What are you willing to do to turn around the blame, own the game and create a winning outcome, not just for you but for everyone involved?

Wishing you a week of endless possibility and discovery!